my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
