I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
