if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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