it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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