I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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