At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
