i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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