Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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