Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
