Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
