first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize