Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
