Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
