jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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