Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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