Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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