what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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