i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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