we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
