I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
