You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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