Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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