Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Every concussion has its silver lining
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
