He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I need a hoe opinion
go on
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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