My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize