You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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