I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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