I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
