Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
