So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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