I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
