I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She needs sedatives and a leash
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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