Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
