I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
