He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
