Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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