pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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