Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I need to stop coming to work sober
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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