Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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