Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
