I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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