Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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