The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Randomize
