No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
