i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
