My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
its not stalking. its research.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He keeps bees of course he's weird
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
