69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
