Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
