I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
