So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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