So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
