Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I would fuck him just for his dog
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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