Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
