Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I would fuck him just for his dog
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
