we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."