Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
how do you play pong handcuffed?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome