My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!