It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
