Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
