just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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