Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
