the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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