This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
