hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Randomize
