I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
